Top 10 Gabbai Pet Peeves

Top 10 Gabbai Pet Peeves

So true, so true...especially numbers 6 and 4.

My Last Week

Dude, it's my last full week here. My last Tuesday...

Hehe, I'm going to Me'ah She'arim next Friday...

Going To Me'ah She'arim

I was talking with Z today, and I asked him if he could come with me next Friday so I can get myself a new black hat. So he said sure, I'll take you to Me'ah She'arim.

Holy mother I'm going to be in Me'ah She'arim next Friday...

Gone Fishin'

Today I was putting on my tefillin (phalactyries) at shachris, and Mr E comes in and asks me when I'm going fishing with him (the last time I went with him was the week before Rosh HaShana in 9th gr--I caught an 8 - 10 lbs bluefish, so awesome), and I said, uh, I don't know, when? So he responded, he'll call me later to inform me when he's going. He called, he's picking me up at 930. He picked me up at 1000, but whatever, we went to his dog's vet first, then to the marina (which btw is literally 30 seconds away from the motel). We met a few people from the shul there, they came with us, Mr E invited them, 4 kids, and the mom of 2 of them. We went out, caught TONS of fish. Well, 10. I caught three, it was freakin awesome. And I watched Mr E fillet the fish, and all that. I would say something now, but I know some of you are faint of heart, so I'll keep my mouth shut. Anyway, We got back, and another family. mother with 3 kids was coming on the boat. And I caught one more, 4 in total. It felt really good.
At around 5, we docked to drop off the second family, and went back out to the water to fillet the 2nd batch of fish. On the way out, we were looking at all the people there who were fishing on shore, and Mr E yelled out to this aging black dude, "You want a fish?" So he said yes, and he got close and I threw it to him. I didn't understand it, until a few minutes later he said, "You know, it's sad, some people are actually fishing for their food. Sometimes they don't catch anything."

Got me thinking a little bit. I'm not sure what exactly, it was all jumble. Stuff like, it's sad, that these days, when it's sooo easy to get food, some people have to go fishing for their food. I don't know, some people may enjoy it, I love fishing, but it would scare me have to do that. What if I don't catch anything?

It's a harsh world...but then, there are these amazing people like Mr E, who will give you a fish. BH for people like him.

Up The Ladder

Today I got to the motel, and my boss tells me, "take the ladder, go on the roof, and paint the triangle black, and the bottom white." WOAH NELLY! ON THE ROOF! I thought that was awesome...until I got to the 2nd ladder. You see, the motel has 2 roofs to the main building; 1 on top of the rooms connected to the lobby, and another 1, on top of the rooms that are on top of the lobby. So I need 2 ladders to go ALL the way on top. That second ladder though, didn't look sturdy, and right when you get up there, a chimney is right there, so you have to hang on for dear life while you hug it so you don't fall off, and turn and switch hands and all that jazz. I wasn't scared, of course, I mean, I'm a guy, guys don't get scared, but I was let's just say concerned for my safety. Not because though, oh, I could fall off if I'm not careful, but because if He wanted, HaShem could have had me fall off, have the ladder move, anything of that sort, and I'd get hurt badly. Now if there was anything for HaShem to say, I want Tonny dead, that's what I was concerned about. Everytime I went up, I just said to myself, Oh Lord, please don't let me fall. I didn't know if I had been worthy or not to be saved--or at least, not made dead. I guess I was worthy, and I thanked the Lord a TON.

Don't waste any of your life. It could be taken away if you're not careful with it...

How About The Jewish Childrens' Fund?

Once again, I was watching tv, and this time a comemercial came on for the Christian Childrens' fund. They had videos of those kids looking all disheveled and all, playing Amazing Grace in the backround. Then it goes to an all black screen, with words the words in white, asking, "You know that feeling when you hear this song [Amazing Grace]?" Next screen: "It's the same feeling you get when you save a child's life."

I would hope that the feeling one gets after saving a kid's life is much higher than when one hears a song...

Hm?

"Vitriol"

I was going through the blogs that I read just now, and Treppenwitz [also linked in my sidebar] (that's his last name, right Ed?) talked about the power of words. I think it's most appropriate now, because 9 b'Av was this past Sunday, and how did 9 b'Av become our day of sadness to begin with? Because the meraglim (spies) used words to convince B'nei Yisrae that Eretz Yisrael was bad, that we shouldn't go there, and we wouldn't win any conquest into the Land. What better day than to fix ones language than on 9 b'Av?

Thanks Mr B.

I urge you all to read it.

Vitriol
by
Treppenwitz

Uh, How 'Bout The Oranges?

I was watching tv, and a commercial for orange juice comes up. A guy is walking through a lab, reading the ingredients from a new drink. All these chemicals, I don't remember, but then he gets to the orange juice. He says, "Ingredients? Fresh air, rain, and sun."
Uh, how about the oranges....?

Idiot.

Darkon Yisra'elit Sheli

I got my Israeli passport today! Weeeeee!

More Tzarus

5. Police Brutally Evict and Strand Youths, Including a Resident
By Hillel Fendel

Police in Gush Katif swooped down on youths in the middle of the night, including a Katif resident, and stranded them outside Katif. At least one of them had no shoes or money; another is aged 12.
The group of 11 youths, including a boy aged only 12, were talking to soldiers peacefully outside the community of Gadid, in Gush Katif, at approximately 2:30 AM. A force of Border Guard police fell upon them, grabbed them up, and threw them onto a bus. They took them to a dark junction outside Gush Katif, and stranded them there to fend for themselves - at 3 o'clock in the morning.

One of them, Aryeh, told his story to Arutz-7: "I had no shoes, and they just left me there. It took me four hours to hitch-hike my way home to Hashmonaim [near Modiin]."

Oh Lord just stop this please. Now You have to, I said please...

Schimmelism Of The Week XXI

Lesser: Rabbi [Bronstein], I see you're trying to grow a beard.
Tonny: And succeeding, unlinke you, Lesser.

For Those Of You That Care

I found 2 more:

Karim climbs the fence

Matos can do it all

Eichah 5:2

I wonder what it was like when Eichah 5:2 was read in Gush Qatif....

"Nachalaseinu nehefichah l'zarim, bateinu l'nachrim."
"Our inheretance has been turned over to strangers; our houses to foreigners."

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday Gila, I love you.

"[Beltran] Caught The Ball! He Brought It Back!"

No matter how many times I see it, the homerun-saving-catch still amazes me, and is probably the most exciting play in baseball.

Beltran robs Molina

Taguchi robs Aurillia

Jones leaping grab (ok, so it doesn't save a hr, but it's the same idea)

Hunter robs Inge

Ford robs Millar (anyone wondering why I have the whole Minnesota outfield here?)

Finley taking one from Mauer

Palmeiro robs Dunn

Swisher taking a HR away

Kielty from Matthews Jr

I must say, in person, they look sooo much better. on July 31, 2001, I was at the Reds-Dodgers game in LA, and Jr Griffey robbed Shawn Green of a homerun, and let me tell you, it was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my entire life. He just went up there and said, I don't think so, Shawn.

I'm try to find (but to no avail) Brian Giles catch in 2003, I remember it was against Cleveland (or maybe Philladelphia...?). That seriously is the best play I have ever seen.

$119 Million Worth

And for those of you complaining about Carlos Beltran, and he's been bad, here is what your $119 million dude is doing roaming in the outfield at Shea.

Oh, and here and here.

Reelin' From The Highlight Reel

So I'm going through the Mets' highlight reel now, and I came across this catch by Mets 3b, David Wright. I have wanted to see it, but haven't been able to (no ESPN). I remember listening to The Fan (WFAN 660 am) and everyone was comparing Wright's catch to Derek Jeter's catch on July 1, '04, vs the Red Sox. Michael Kay thinks that Jeter's is the greatest catch ever in baseball. I beg to differ. If you see, Jeter catches the ball, what, 2 or 3 steps before the foul line, which is around I would say 10 feet from the stands? Anyway, for some reason, because he Supermaned it into the stands, they think, oh, greatest catch ever. But it's not folks, it's just your routine running catch, with a ride. Wright's catch on the other hand, he stopped, and THEN he flew into the stands, AND catching it there, not just catching it and then going into the stands.

So, what do you think? Which one is better? I personally, of course, like Wright's better.

God, I HATE stupid Yankee fans (and because most of them are frontrunners, most of them are stupid).

Lord save us please.

The Real "The Catch"

Forget Willie Mays, this is one of the greatest plays I have ever seen.

No Hands? Yeah Wright

If that doesn't work, go here, go to Aug 9, and watch that video clip.

Holy Mother Of God (Like He Has A Mother...?)

I'm im yirtzeh HaShem, be'ezras HaShem, bli ayin harah, leaving for Eretz Yisrael in like, 25 days!!

Abba's a little worried though, because I don't have my Israeli passport yet. He just sent in the application today (we only got word today that I can), and he's a little worried it won't come in time. Tali's didn't, and the other thing they needed to do before my passport, took longer than the two weeks they said it should. I asked what if it's not here by Sept 5, when my flight is?

Abba: Then we have a problem.

Great....

Happy Birthday!

Happy 20th birthday Ashira!

Happy Anniversary!

Happy 6th anniversary Raanan and Rebecca!

Weeeee!

I got my tickets for my flight to Eretz Yisrael just now!

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

What Are We Coming To?

Why Lord? Why? Why us?

World Bank: Israeli Gov´t Corruption Among Highest in the West
by
Ezra HaLevi

Only Recommended, Eh?

Motza'ei Shabbos, after taking a ride or two in Phil's Jaguar, I went to Peggy's apt for the night wehre A & P were packing up. Peggy had Hillel's papers that they sent out to all parents a few days ago with her, and she was reading them. In it was Hillel's mission statement, philosophy, etc. Well, it's supposed to be a frum school, but the m"i said NOTHING about Torah, or Yiddeshkeit, it just said something about learning diversity and shtus like that. That's not what a Jewish Day School should be about.
Next, in it they had the new dress code. It got stricter, including uniforms, but one thing got me. The last thing in the boys' section said, "It is recommended that boys wear tzitzis, at least for davening."

Is it my imagination, or does the Gemara not say, wear tzitzis. WHAT THE HELL?! I could've sworn that the Lord didn't just recommend to wear tzitzis, but yet, we have to. I'm lost here...ok fine, so we don't have to wear a 4-cornered garment in order to just wear tzitzis, you're right. But you know what the Gemara says after that? It says Oy to the dude who doesn't wear tzitzis when he is able to. He won't get punished for it per se, but if he does an aveirah, then he'll get punished more because he's not wearing tzitzis. I guess it's like pouring the gas on the fire.

My almamatar going to hell, my friends. Farewell, dear Hillel.

The God Zone

Every Sunday I get that email from Aish, with a bunch of articles. It goes in my bluk folder, but before I delete it, I look at it to see if there's anything I find interesting. This week, something did. It was about this woman, who while she was sleeping, heard her window, and when she moved the curtain, saw that there was a man on her balcony outside her window.
She said that she is sure that had she not have woken up when she didn't have to to watch kids for her mom, help her friend who was incapacitated, the break-in would not have ended how it did--she might have been hurt and stuff would have been stolen.

You never know how The Lord will pay you back for what you do. It might save your life, it might kill you ch"v. Only you can decide.

I hope to God we all make the right decision.

Change Of Fate
by
Ayelet

Schimmelism Of The Week XX

Wow, I haven't done this in a long time. I apologize for that (to whomever who reads my blog actually like SOT"W), just things have been going on, and laziness and all that. Here are a few to make up for some of the time I've missed:

(as I've said before, they're not necessarily from R' Schimmel)
Mosko: Where does the Vice President live?
Mr D: In Vice-President Land, which is right next to Candyland.

Raffi: That's a fat wallet Rabbi.
Rabbi S: It's not a wallet, it's an apartment.

Rabbi S: When I was in the public school system, a long long time ago, when I was in grade school...Leibo: When dinosaurs roamed the Earth?

He would show them naked pictures of ladies...but pictures don't wear clothes.

Coby: Why is it that those are the first 3 things you think of? Eating, drinking, & sexing?

Kook: What do you think of the dead pope?
Rabbi S: He shouldn't continue in office.

Gross be quiet you are no longer valued.

The cerebrum is divided into sections, sometimes called sections.

Yeamans: How did you get that booboo on your head Rabbi?
Rabbi S: My booboo-repressing agent wasn't working that day.

I hope y'all liked those. I know I did. Oh boy, I love Rabbi Schimmel.