Saturday, October 29, 2005


Great book. Everyone should read it. Even Rebbetzin Wolicki, who doesn't care for baseball, read it.

Billy Beane's awesome. Everyone is stupid.

Friday, October 28, 2005

Nate The Great Update

Ima sent me an email last night which I just got a few minutes ago. Her, Tali and Stu were in Albany at my brothers house, and had this report on my nephew Netanel:

"Nate The Great is wonderful. When you say to him "daven" then he shuckles back and forth. He is really cute."

That's a Schwarzmer for you. Always doing that Torah thing. And that cute thing too, that's also a Schwarzmer thing.


Thursday, October 27, 2005

The Art Of Winning An Unfair Game

I am about to venture forth on a most exhilirating, thrilling trek in the world of literature. Words from Michael Lewis coming together to form one of the greatest works in the sports world (if not the whole world) today:


I'll tell you what I think about it when I'm done. There are 288 pages. I'll probably be done by Sunday.

This One Or That One?

So, should I do the the Radzyner techeiles (picture on the bottom), or the R' Shachter techeiles (sorry, no picture for this one)?

1. The Radzyner - has all the twists techeiles except the first and last. There are five knots: between the first and the second knot there are seven twists, between the second and third - eight twists, between the third and fourth - eleven twists and between the fourth and last - thirteen twists. Each group of three is separated by winding the techeiles around and inside them to hold them together.

2. R' Shachter - One understanding of the Rambam--all twists blue except the first and last, with a double knot between each chulya (group of windings).

Schimmelism Of The Week XXVII

Eitan: No offense rebbe, but hakafos tonight (2nd day yomtov) were better than last night.
R' Kahn: I wonder why...

Only In Israel

Shuls in malls
Selling TEFILLIN at these Judaica kiosks IN THE MALL!

I Love Eretz Yisrael!


Monday, October 24, 2005

Yeah 7000 Hits!

Keep 'em coming folks!

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Sukkos In Chashmonaim

I LOVE the Solomonts!!

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Above Ground

Tonny: Hey Mr Bogner, how are you doing?
Mr B: Everyday above ground is a good day.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005


FonZThEIV: i did kaparos today
Talya: good for you
Talya: i need to do that
FonZThEIV: but real kaparos...
Talya: they are all real
Talya: you just used a chicken
FonZThEIV: right right
Talya: i did that last year
FonZThEIV: yeah thats what i meant
FonZThEIV: except i did it different from you sorta
FonZThEIV: you didnt have a knife in your hand....
Talya: ya you probably touched the chicken...i was too scared and made the man swing it
FonZThEIV: oh, you could say i touched it, yes
Talya: no i did not
Talya: omg
Talya: you shechted your own chicken
FonZThEIV: yeah....
FonZThEIV: you said it, not me
Talya: kol ha kavod
FonZThEIV: thank you

Yup, that's right folks--I shechted a chicken. It was crazy. It makes you wonder really. It wasn't like I was like "Yeah, killing some chickens! Let's go, let's go, let's go!! KILLING SOME CHICKENS WOO!!!!" Ok, maybe it was, but right before I killed it, I was thinking for a few seconds, dude, this isn't just another fly (although, also when killing a fly we should probably at least think about it, you know?), it's a chicken.

Alright, more later, I have to go--people are waiting.

Monday, October 10, 2005

Yom Kippur's A Comin'

In philosophy class, the rabbi mentioned the Asara Harugei Malchus*, so I decided to read it then and there, in class to check up what they were talking about. I eventually ended up reading the whole thing, going into Maariv. When Maariv started, I got to the part about R' Chutzpis Hameturgaman, and I finished the paragraph right before Shma started. I was reading the notes part on the bootom of the page in the Artscroll YK Machzor (siddur), and it said that it was a day before he turned 130 years old, and the Romans came to get him. He begged, he cried, to let him live one more day so he can say Shma for one more day and night. I finished that right before I started Shma...exactly. I was like, woah, if only we all had half of that.

I'm trying to do what he did. I'll let you know how I do.

Oh, and we changed back the clock, we're now only 6 hours ahead of the East Coast. In Eretz Yisrael (Israel), it is a law that we haev to move the clock back before Yom Kippur. One year, a non-religious MK in the government was like, what's the difference? 25 hours is still 25 hours either way! To which one of the religious MK's responds back, "You obviously never fasted on Yom Kippur."

Laila tov everybody.

*The Ten Martyrs

Schimmelism Of The Week XXVI

Daniel: Ok Isaac, I think that's enough avoda zara* for one day.

*idol worship; one of the three cardinal sins in Judaism.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

No Doubt HOFer

Manny Ramirez is going to the Hall of Fame. If he doesn't, the world will explode.

I looove Manny Ramirez.

Schimmelism Of The Week XXV

Avi: Shkoyach, you're beautiful.
Tonny: I know.
Avi: I was talking about your leining.
Tonny: Oh really? Too bad...

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

It's 1030 At Night, Do You Know Where Your Children Are?

It's 2230, the pizza's an hour late...

Rosh HaShana In EY

Well, it's over at least. We're waiting for the pizza to come, it's supposed to come between 2130 - 2140. It's 2201 now. Whatever.

Before yomtov I was talking to Gila, and we were saying how we weren't really ready for Rosh HaShana, and even though like I said I had those night slichos, I wasn't completely ready. Well, R Kwass spoke today, and talked about that. He said it's like a mashal (parable), you're working on a project (building the basketball hoop), you were on it all day, 600 - 1800 everyday. Mom comes out, "Honey, you ready?" "No mom, I need probably another day." "No not the hoop, the wedding." "What wedding?" "Your cousin Jonny's wedding." "Oh no, I comepletely forgot!" He's your favorite cousin, you have to take a shower, change, you think, how am I going to get into this wedding? I don't know if I'll be able to. But you get there, you hear the music, give him a mazal tov hug, and you're like, hey, I'm in it now, I got it. Rosh HaShana is the same thing, most people aren't ready, but it starts, the "ay-ay-ays" from the Yamim Noraim tune, bowing for Aleinu, hearing the shofar, and we're into it. We shouldn't worry. We're in it now, let's make the most of it.

Yeah, R Kwass is great.

Yesterday, I was ragging on Rabbi W for putting the accent on the wrong syllable on a word during Torah reading, and he says to Rabbi Hirschberg," Rabbi, Tonny's such a daikan ("details, details, details" type of guy)." "So why isn't Tonny reading the Torah?" At which point I go, "Oh Rabbi, BAM!" I wanted to do something this yomtov, and I'd keep asking to do stuff, but jokingly, and Rabbi said, "let me think about it....No." "You're mean Rabbi..." Whatever, it's cool. I'm gabbai, so at least I get to to do something.

Waiting for the pizza, just waiting for the pizza...

Monday, October 03, 2005

Rosh HaShana

It's almost here. Last night I wasn't ready, although now that we had slichos last night instead of this morning, I think I am. I do better at night slichos, more kavanah, more meaningfulness, it was nice last night. I'm not sure if I'm 100% ready, but I think I'm pretty much there.

Woah, it's Rosh HaShana.


The putting green was finished today.

Do we even have clubs or gold balls...?

Sunday, October 02, 2005

Shabbos In Matisyahu

9 of us went to Sam's (one of my 4 roomates; he's from Chicago) sister's house in Matisyahu. 6 kids, 9 guys, crazy house, but it was nice--cute kids I must say. We sang, we slept. Today I reread Courtrooms of the Mind by Chanoch Teller, I love that book. It's about judging people favorably, it's full of stories about, well, obviously, judging people favorably, just great, great stories. Rabbi Baum gave me that book for my bar mitzvah, but it was signed by Chanoch Teller himself, with personal note. Not a biggy or anything, just like, Mazal tov, best of luck type of thing, you know? Anyway I have read the book over and over again, and love it even more each time. Some of the stories I don't like, but there are a few which I love reading each time. It's too bad too, because people it's a mitzvah in the Torah which a lot of times isn't done, which is not so hard to do. Just tell yourself, "Yourself, he really isn't doing anything bad." Just be like, "no, really, he's a good person and he's not doing anything bad." I recommend the book for everybody.

[Special Report: I'm sorry to interupt this rambling, but Roth just came upstairs singing--meaning the Yankees had won. And of course, Roth confirmed and the Yankees won today and are division champs, once again. I hate seeing Roth like this--iyH the Yanks will get sweeped in the first round so Roth will shut up and kill himself. No ch"v, just so he'll shut up. I can't believe the Yankees won the division. Hate to say it, but I DO have to give them a little credit, after those awwful awful streaks in the beginning of the year--but seriously, the Red Sox should have put the division away awhile ago. I mean, so what if they don't have pitching? They should have anyway...anyway....]

This afternoon, 4 of us went to Chashmonaim and I visited the SOLOMONTS! WEEE! It was great, even though I was there for not so long in total, it was the first time I was at their house, and the first time I saw Sarah Beth since before they left America, and the first time I saw Ari since graduation day. Eli was there and she's soooo cute and soooo happy and soooo full of energy like WOW OMG--she didn't remember me. I didn't expect her to. Dov was in yeshiva, and i think both Malka and Nechama were out at friends or something. I can't wait til Sukkos, when Ed, Kfare, Charles, Rube (that's what Ed told me, he might come), and maybe Yaakov and DMD, and I will be there. I can't wait. Ed told me on Friday, and Sarah Beth told me today, that I have to come with a decoration the represents me, like a drawing, or something like that. I'm not sure what that will be yet, but we'll see...BH I have time to figure it out.
Dammit, I just remembered--I can't draw! I don't know if anyone here can. Sarah Beth, what am I to do??
Maybe Zsh can draw...? Maybe I can get him to sculpt me something. Hehe.
Ohhh, good one Roth, Issac can draw! Sweet! Maybe I can get him to draw me something....
Ok Roth is in too good of a mood--he just edited the Red Sox backround on the other computer just a little bit...Oh boy...
Aight, I'm bizoucin'. Laila tov vachalamot metukim y'all.