Thursday, August 31, 2006

Let's Hope It Lasts

The Mets officially now have the best record is baseball.

Who cares if the Tigers played 2 more games than the Mets and went 1-1 in those games, and it's only percentage points that the Mets are better? Not me, that's for sure.

And I can't believe I'm saying this, but thank you Yankees for making this possible. Well...and the Mets, of course.

Schimmelism Of The Week LXI

Ed: what did you leave [in Josh's room]?
Tonny: sunglasses, pajama pants and t-shirt
Tonny: can you hold on to them?

Ed: sure
Ed: i'm gonna wear them when i miss you

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Mazal tov Ya'akov & Elisheva! It was a great wedding.

Oh boy was it a great wedding...

Friday, August 25, 2006

Pluto Sent Down To Minors

Apprently, Pluto isn't a planet anymore.

I don't really get it. So what if it's dead and it doesn't do anything? It should still be officially a planet.
I think why it's so hard for me to accept this, is because we learn in nursery, there are 9 planets in the solar system. Everyone knows the song. 9 planets. You don't excpet that number to change. You don't learn it thinking that they're ever going to lessen this number. Maximize maybe, but never lessen. Like what, they're actually going to demote a planet? Come on....As Mark Newman says in the article I give you below, "It will be hard for some people to imagine Pluto off the roster."

For a more, shall we say, baseball spin on it, you can click here.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Tonny's Got Your Gun

Friday night of Shabbos Chazon (shabbos before 9 B'Av) Dr. Adam suggested that I go to a shooting range before I go to the army, so that when I get there, I will know (somewhat) what I'm doing. I, of course, thought it was a good idea, so the next day while we're waiting to eat lunch at someone's house, I told Abba what Adam said, that I should go, and right away the host says, "I'll take you." So he took me tonight. We went to this shooting range in Bridgeport in such a ghetto place. We went in, and I was a bit nervous at first, all these ghetto people with guns. There was a guy Ishmael, that made me a little nervous, but it was ok. The guy who helped us was sooo nice, I didn't have any ID, but he let us go anyway. Alan told him I was going into the Israeli Army, and he was just there and he hates Arabs too, so that was cool. After we had rented the gun (9mm) and gotten our "eyes and ears", we said thank you and he said back, "oh I'm going to be in there with you the entire time." He was awesome, taught me how to stand, hold it, shoot, load, etc. His name is Kevin, and he works for the state department. He was just in Israel escorting the Ambassador around, so he had some guns. At one point he was shooting his own rifle for himself, and he let me shoot it. My target was 50 feet away, and I hit it -- dead on. There was no kick back to it whatsoever, which I was surprised about. "There's no kickback to it." So I even said to him, not even a minute after he used it, "are you sure?"
You know, my shooting wasn't so bad. We went 10 shots at a time, and one time, I hit the paper 9 times (if you hit the paper, then you'd hit the guy you're shotting at). At the end when Alan and I finished all of our bullets, Kevin let me use his pistol, a Glock. So he put up the box in which the bullets came in as the target. It's a small box, 3" x 8", and he put it at 25 feet -- I hit it 4 times (near the end of the 10 shots). It was really cool. Loud, but cool. Now at least I kinda know what I'm doing.

I don't think I'll ever forget this.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Half Birthdays

Why don't we celebrate half-birthdays? I think we should start.

Happy half-birthday Meir!

And of course, lets not forget Dakota Fanning. Happy half-birthday Dakota.

And also...happy half-birthday to Esti G!

Schimmelism Of The Week LX

Papir: Do you [lie]?
R Kahn: I recruit, of course I lie.

To all prospective Yesodei students: Just kidding, just kidding....*eyes darting left and right suspiciously*....

Thursday, August 17, 2006

More Zionist Venom

I always knew I loved Dennis Leary.

Here he is in the broadcaster's booth at the Red Sox game last night.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Schimmelism Of The Week ILX

Roth: The Pat[riot]s are good at everything: football, college basketball...
Tonny: Yeah, that's everything...

Friday, August 11, 2006

Schimmelism Of The Week LVIII

Roth: If anyone killed themselves I'd laugh. Except Tonny. *yelling upstairs to me* Tonny if you kill yourself I'll kill you!

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Hizballah Must Be Destroyed

Now isn't the time for restraint
By Newt Gingrich

Imagine that this morning 50 missiles were launched from Cuba and exploded in Miami. In addition to buildings and homes being destroyed, scores of Americans were being killed. Now imagine our allies responded by saying publicly that we must not be too aggressive in protecting our citizens and that America must use the utmost restraint....

United Nations Resolution 1559, supported by the European Union, called for Hezbollah to be disarmed. If not now, when? If not by the Israelis, who? The G8 advice, if taken, would only guarantee the cycle of violence. The terrorist alliance must be destroyed or it will be rebuilt with more dangerous capabilities. The appeals for an Israeli cease-fire, if heeded, will enable Israel's enemies to re-lay the groundwork for yet another violent campaign for what has been a nearly six-decade episode with the sole objective of destroying Israel.

more here...

God Bless this man.

Sin'as Chinam

"How fitting that part of our lot in our exile -- which continues today despite the existence of a Jewish state -- should be the collective Jewish suffering of baseless hatred from so much of the world. "

-Rabbi Avi Shafran

Mel Gibson's Jewish Problem

by Steve Feuerstein

Based on my previous interviews with the Gibson family, nothing Mel said comes as a surprise.

NEW YORK, NY August 1, 2006: I exclusively interviewed Mel Gibson's father, Hutton Gibson, three times during a highly charged time in the United States, just one week prior to the launch of The Passion in February 2004. This is why I can state emphatically that the hoopla surrounding Mel Gibson's comments comes as a bit of an anti-climax.

more here...

It is my hope that one day, one (all would be better) of these Gibson's gets their life saved by a Jew.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Innocent arabs...?

97% of Palestinian Authority Arabs Support Hizbullah
16:17 Aug 08, '06 / 14 Av 5766
by Hillel Fendel

A poll taken early this month by Near East Consulting, a Ramallah-based data analysis firm, shows that virtually the entire Palestinian Authority - 97% of those polled - support Hizbullah.

more here...

Sunday, August 06, 2006

Yallah Ya Nasrallah

Tribute To TzaHaL

Here's a tribute to the chayyalim. Very touching, very beautiful.

Song - Umacha by Yehuda!

I get chills everytime I watch it.

Chayyalim - HaShem imachem.

Friday, August 04, 2006

How Sad...

We can't go up to Har HaBayyis (Temple Mount) even on 9 B'Av. Chas V'Shalom a Jew goes up there. Because if so, the damn arabs just have to riot and kill 14 Jews in Chevron. It just has to happen, it's part of the natural circle of life.

Go to hell, arabs.

Thursday, August 03, 2006


Many thoughts have been flooding in and out of my head the past 3 weeks about 9 B'Av, and how it happened, why it happened, how it could have happened. The Gemara says in Maseches Gittin that there are 3 stories, (among then Kamtza and Bar Kamtza) and of them R' Yochanan ben Zakkai says that because of these 3 events, the Beis HaMikdash was destroyed (you don't hear this often, but R' Yochanan Ben Zakkai blames R' Zechariyah ben Avkulas, the head rabbi, also, for the destruction of the Beis Hamikdash, because he didn't act -- he didn't give the emperor's animal as a karban, and he didn't kill Bar Kamtza either for what he did.
And then there's the time period of the nevi'im (prophets) Yirmiyahu, Yishayahu, and Yechezkeil. They would all prophesize the same thing, over and over again, "repent or you'll be destroyed", only, apparently, to fall on deaf ears.
There is a whole kinah (lamentation; kinah 34 in the Artscroll 9 B'Av siddur, called "Yom Achpi") about the prophet Zechariyah ben Yehoyada, who also prophesied that the Beis Hamikdash would be destroyed if we didn't repent. He was protesting the Jewish people 
worshiping King Yoash as a god, and the people, acting on King Yoash's command,  stoned him, thereby having sinned sevenfold: (1) They killed an innocent man; (2) who was a Kohein; (3) a Navi; (4) and a judge; (5) the desecration of the Azarah (Temple Courtyard); (6) on Yom Kippur; (7) which also fell out on Shabbos (Divrei HaYamim II 24:20).
Then the midrash continues that the blood lay there uncovered on the floor of the Azarah for 250 years until the seige of Yerushalayim, and the destruction of the 
Beis Hamikdash, during all this time the blood continued to seethe and bubble, a sign of HaShem's anger against B'nei Yisrael. Nevuzaraddan (the Babylonian general) wanted an explanation, to which the people tried to cover up the truth, but had to at one point confess that it was the blood of Zechariyah. At which point Nevuzaradan wanted to appease Zechariyah. First he ordered all the talmidei chachamim killed on that spot, then the kids, then the young Kohanim -- more then 940,000 (!!) people in all.
But Zechariyah's blood was still bubbling, until Nevuzaraddan said, "Zechariyah! Zechariyah! I have destroyed the flower of them! Do you wish me to massacre them all?" At that point, the blood rested (Sanhedrin 96b).
A big part were the Kohanim. They represent all that the Beis HaMikdash was, the spirituality of B'nei Yisrael. As R' Engel said today, we wouldn't be able to survive without the Kohanim today. I mentioned 3 weeks ago the question of what took so long for them to get to the Beis HaMikdash once they came into the city? It took them almost 3 weeks (they got to the 
Beis Hamikdash on the 7th of Av) to get from the walls of Yerushalayim to the  Beis Hamikdash? If you walk today (and the city is bigger than it was back then) from Sha'ar Yafo to the Kotel, how long does it take? 10 minutes? Maybe 15? And it took the Babylonians and the Romans almost 3 weeks?
Yup. It was the Kohanim, who weren't trained for battle, fighting tooth and nail, so that they wouldn't destroy the Beis Hamikdas. Fighting, fighting, and fighting, as hard as they can, without rest, for almost 3 weeks, to try to defend the  Beis Hamikdash.

Truth is, they Romans/Babylonians did have a fun time on their way -- raping and pillaging...but that aside, the fighting of the Kohanim was something.

Even though B'nei Yisrael had been warned time and time again, "repent or you will be destroyed", they didn't listen. And then the 
Beis Hamikdash was destroyed, and they were totally shocked, surprised; as if they had no idea it was coming.
The Midrash says that when Yirmiyahu had caught up to the captives of Yerushalayim on their way to Bavel (Hashem had told him to go to Anasos to buy a field from his uncle, bcause while he was in Yerushalayim, it couldn't be destroyed. Yirmiyahu didn't know what was going to happen), he spoke to them, "My brothers, all that has come upon you is because you didn't hear the words of prophesy that Hashem said through me..."
He turned to go comfort the captives still in Yerushalyim, when they cried and asked him, "Father Yirmiyahu, will you really abandon us?"
"Heaven and earth are witnesses," he answered, "for had you cried even once while you were still in Tziyyon, you would not have been driven out." (Eichah Rabbah)

Why was the
 Beis Hamikdash destroyed? Yeah, we have these stories, because of him, because hatred, etc. etc. But when it comes down to it, why? Because we sinned, we did aveiros, and we didn't correct them. What better day to start repenting for our sins (for which the Beis Hamikdash was destroyed), than today, the "yartzheit" for the Beis Hamikdash, and with Rosh HaShana/Yom Kippur in less than 2 months?

When the Kohein Gadol saw that the
 Beis Hamikdash was on fire, he took the keys and cast them toward heaven, saying, "Here are the keys of Your House; I have been an unworthy custodian of it." He started to go, but then enemy killed him at the mizbei'ach, on the very spot he used to offer the daily sacrifice. His daughter ran out crying, "Woe is to me! My father -- delight of my eyes!" They slaughtered her too, and her blood mixed with her father's.
When the Kohanim and Levi'im saw that the
Beis Hamikdash was burning, they took their harps and trumpets and let themsevles be consumed in the fire. The maidens who wove the paroches (curtains) for the Sanctuary also let themselves be consumed in the fire, so as not to be violated by the enemies.
King Tzidkiyah and his 10 sons tried to flee to Yericho via an underground tunnel, but were caught by Nevuzaraddan and send to Nevuchadnezzar who sentenced them to be killed. They killed his 10 sons first, and then gouged out Tzidkiyah's eyes and took him to Bavel.
Tzidkiyah kept crying out, "Come and see, everyone! Yirmiyahu had prophesied truly when he said to me, 'You will go to Bavel, and in Bavel you will die, but your eyes will not have seen Bavel.' I would not listen to his words. And here I am, in Bavel, and my eyes do not see it." (Pesikta Rabbasi)

Evidence Mounts that Kana "Massacre" Was a Fake

Evidence Mounts that Kana "Massacre" Was a Fake
16:05 Aug 03, '06 / 9 Av 5766
by Hillel Fendel

The world awoke Sunday to the news that an Israeli airstrike killed 57 Lebanese civilians, leading Israel to stop airstrikes for 2 days - but evidence indicates the "massacre" may have been a fraud.

continued here...

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

You Can't Handle The...Pill?!

Sometime last week I saw a commercial for some pill to take if someone has prostate problems. One of the things the commercial voice guy said was that it shouldn't be handled by women.


They can't handle it? Like, they can't touch it?

Man *to wife*: Honey, can you get me my medicine please?
Wife: Sorry sweety, can't touch it, remember?

What? They can't handle it? What does that mean...?