Jersey Numbers

So tonight we finally got our dorn basketball intramural "jerseys" (really, they're t-shirts, but whatever, they're cool). So I'm the Captain of my team (yes, capital C), and I went down to get my jersey, and I looked in the box while Joe was getting them out. He was pulling out each color, to see which one was mine. Wasn't red. Wasn't black :'( Then he pulled out the orange, and I was like, "No, please not orange...." BH it wasn't orange--it's dark green. It's not the coolest or my favorite color, but it's solid. Dark green is a solid color. So he pulled out my jersey....number 34. I'm like what the flip?! Thirty-freakin-four?! So I asked Joe, "Uh, Joe, whazzup?" And he's like, "Your size." And then I say back, "Yeah whatever." I got an XL just to make sure it fits--I don't know my sizes anymore, I don't keep track. L or XL, one of those. I hope...so anyway, back to where I was....Number THIRTY FOUR?! GOD! If I got like, 9, or 10, ok fine, that's not so bad. even 18, 19, 20's already is poushing it, but THIRTY FOUR?! I mean, 34 is no where near 1! Like, NO WHERE!! And don't even say it's relative, cuz relative to 1 million, 34 is rather close. But then of course, I know one of you reading this, like my brother Ra'anan or his wife Rebecca, or even Sara Adina will probably say, "Tonny, it's relative....vago'." And then I bet someone else besides these 3 will do it, too, because I didn't mention them, so they will be like, "Ha I did it too!" So I'm saying it to everyone, don't say it. 34 is annoying. Oy....Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life....it could have been like, 63, or like, 67 1/2.....